Apr 1 • By • 1138 Views • 1 Comment on FOOD COLUMNS, Eats, FOODIES-TRAVELOGUES, Issue 03 // Apr 2012, Stoner Fashionista

I actually wasn’t aware there was a name for what I’ve always considered myself to be until I saw a Simpsons-episode about it, now how unhip is that. Anyway, a foodie. If there is such a thing I must be it.

I’ve dedicated vacations to eating, eating my way from moose-hearts in the dark forests of Finnskogen to the sound of Scandinavia(the «dansband»), to crashing Festival du Muscat de Frontignan, the wine-festival dedicated to the wine of the area, muscat, in the the south of France, shitfaced as only Norwegians can get two o’clock over a mountain of fresh-outta-the-sea delicious oysters.

To the more urban adventures of some Asian-Spanish-fusion in narrow streets in small long-beforehand super-booked restaurants of Barcelona, with the casual kitchen-visit from Señor el Bulli himself, fo’ real (Dos Pallilos). Sometimes spending all my savings on cod in honey, accompanied by a wine I don’t remember, followed by assorted cheese in the warm night (Big Fish). Or literally getting lost in streets to small and dark to have names, hunting for some out-of-this-world sashimi, presented as a work of art in the hidden dungeon also known as Koi Shunka.

To more the more romantic experiences of enjoying a simple fish-meal at Chez Sam, the strange blues-restaurant in Essaoira, Morocco, where Mick and Keith once sat, and maybe just like we did, watched the fishermen as they went out to see at night.

Gosh I love food. I really love to eat, especially when a meal, home-cooked or not, is a social thing you get to share with your boyfriend or some friends or something.

Most recently I had the pleasure of sharing a really splendid meal with some dear friends in Melbourne. We where totally invading their home for almost a month and felt the least we could do was to spoil them with a fairly expensive culinary feast, the sort that students don’t get to get to often. We wanted to take them to MoVida, apparently and obviously the most hippest restaurant in Melbourne these days, since we couldn’t get a table during our 3 week-stay := anyway, Cutler & Co. neatly located in the hipster-area of Fitzroy, according to the Wallpaper guide, had a fun-loving and fashion-forward crowd, oh my. The waiters had capes alright, hats, shoulder pads and asymmetrical do’s and ear-wear. We had a gang of rich old hags with stretched skin above us, and Ronald McPlump next to us with what we couldn’t decide was his date or daughter, but most importantly the food was an absolute thrill. It was a fun night!

Yeah, I’ve done my share of eating and a good meal beats a lot of pretty cool things u can do in my opinion, but I do however consider it a little perverse, at lest morally problematic calling eating a hobby.

I guess it’s not very new to be asking folks to chillax on the obsessing about food but this food-craze is clearly burning way too hot. Around here Norwegian master-chef Eyvind Hellstrøm is contributing gas to the fire with his stupid appetite-killing tv-shows. He’s not spreading any joy ok, he’s spreading anxiety-attacks all over the nation and it’s fucking up normal peoples lives.

Hellstrøm and his macho-men-crew

Either you’re a stupid jerk who thinks everything has to be gourmet all of the sudden just because your parents didn’t know how to cook and you just picked it up, or you’re a psycho health-freak or just a bitch who puts you’re 7 year old daughter on a diet (American Vogue April Issue (!:O)), knock it off already!

As much as I love food, I’m not gonna become some sort of freak.

Stop dieting for once, it’s fucking gross.

gwyneth spew paltrow eating beetroot

This butter-crises that’s been riding Norway as a mare this winter and ridiculed us worldwide, with good reason, is a good example of when food-trends go wrong, NO U CANT EAT EGGS AND BACON WITH BUTTER FOR EVERY MEAL AND GET SKINNY! U knew that, did your brain actually think that was healthy?? Come on! Don’t be so extreme and dramatic about everything, you’re acting like a bunch of Amish teenagers on rumspring!

And you don’t need to throw out everything your parents cooked u just ’cause wheat is suddenly passé or fishballs is a total faux pas! OMG, it’s food!

I’m tellin’ u strait yo, sometimes regular pancakes is the best u can ask for! Everyone loves it and it makes u full. U can eat some beetroot tomorrow and feel good about yourself, voila! You now have a healthy, environmentally justifiable, not extreme and stupid, and cheap food-habit going that’s gonna last u for life!

Nom nom nom,


the stoner fashionista at las pistolas


One Response to FOOD

  1. Benjamin C says:

    yeah! b

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