As your favorite cultural echelons, guarding that thin line of what’s musical in Norway versus the Emperor’s New Clothes, we present to you a list of Norway’s shittiest band names.
You know, it might not be a good idea to choose your band name while high or drunk at a party.
No grasp of the English language, random nonsense, or just plain stupid? You decide. Our best of the worst is divided up into the most popular categories, and scroll to the bottom with one resolute winner at the end.
Compiled by Thomas Brady & The Editors. Many thanks to the NRK’s Urørt website for giving us a source for research.
10. You know that game when you turn movie titles in their porno version? Or played that game when you replace a word in a band´s name with vagina? Sonic Vagina. The Revolting Vaginas. Einstürzende Vagina. You get the point. Well, in this category, we had so many bands whose names sounded like they were used in this game. But they weren’t.
DREAD MEN WALKING
CHITTY CHITTY BANG GANG
ROYAL PORN CELEBRITIES
HOPE I DIE VIRGIN
NPB (Nude Pube Banglers)
9. Then you have the cracker category.
JABBA THE BUTT
YOUR NEW FAVOURITE WHITE TRASH
8. Then the emo-leaves-falling-outta-ashes-outta-my-mother’s-dark-bosom-because-my-high-school-teacher-never-taught-me-how-to-disconnect-infinitives, category.
THE BIRDS ARE SPIES, THEY REPORT TO TRESS
ART LEFT IN SILENCE
HURT SOMEONE HANDSOME
THE SKY IS A ROOF
LIFE IS A TRAGIC WAY TO DEATH
LIKE RATS FROM A SINKING SHIP
YOUTH PICTURES OF FLORENCE HENDERSON
THE SEPTEMBER WHEN
SNAKES IN SOUTHERN FLAMES
7. Then the rhetorical statement category. Note to bands, never start a band name with “Do You (blank)?” because the answer will most always command a resounding, (Fuck) No!
WHY DON’T WE LOVE LUCY
DO YOU LOVE MELENA?
NOW WE’VE GOT MEMBERS
AT LEAST WE HAVE A BAND
TOMORROW WE MOVE TO HAWAII
6. Then band names that start exactly like, a million other band names.
DEATH IS ONLY A HORIZON
DEATH IS NOT GLAMOROUS
DEATH BY UNGA BUNGA
5. Others are plain stupid.
THE GULLIBLE CLOWNS
FREAK OI! ACCIDENT
SWAMPS UP NOSTRILS
WE DON’T WANT TO SEE YOU WITHOUT MAKEUP
LOWER THEN LO-FI, BUT HIGHER
SIXTY PIECES OF GUM
MASTER PIECE OF CAKE
4. Others you can imagine sounded good in Norwegian-English, or Norwegian. But just not in English.
TOMMY TOKYO & STARVING FOR MY GRAVY
WE ARE MYSTERY
3. Others want short catchy titles as to so badly to be in the NME.
I SEE HORSES
EYE EMMA JEDI
2. Battling for Second Place is:
1. But the winner of Norway’s worst ever band name goes to:
THE GIN AND TONIC YOUTH
–Got more? Tell us! Feel free to add your comments below.